10 things not to do when making big life decisions.

4 min readSep 19, 2022

It’s up to you.

Photo by Emily Morter on Unsplash

In the last three years of roller coasters, I’ve found myself at a multitude of physical and metaphorical crossroads. When making decisions with my indecisive mind these are what I would suggest not doing:

1. Don’t ask someone else what they would do.

As my beloved Grandma told me, “Fuck the shoulds.” Asking someone to tell you what you should do or what they would do is not the question to ask. They have different life experiences, different perspectives, different motivations. They are not you. If you feel like you needconsult ask questions not around swapping shoes. Instead try asking what they considered when they were in a similar situation to see if you missed something.

2. Don’t think you can change your mind.

Commit. If you’re not committed you’ll find your way halfway down the road asking yourself “what ifs” and never let yourself go on what could potentially be the rest of your life or the best breakfast buffet you’ve ever had.

3. Don’t think you can’t change your mind.

This is counter to what I just said, bare with me. Once you decide what direction to go in give 100%. The point of this is nothing in life is guaranteed and if it doesn’t work out, you can always go in a different direction.

4. Don’t worry about what other people think.

External consideration are the reason why we don’t pursue our dreams. It is totally possible to love others deeply and to allow yourself the life you were born to live. Parents, spouses, partners, friends, family, the mailman — everyone is living their own very short very limited experience on this planet. You can consider them but they cannot be the reason you do or don’t do something.

5. Don’t forget to ask how the consequences can affect someone besides you.

Again, counter to what I just said before. If you have a partner and tiny children and you want to take an unpaid leave for a year to travel Nepal — cool. But also, your income matters to your family, so how…