But I did them anyway.

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  1. I decided to be in a committed relationship with someone even though the reason they told me they wanted to be with me was in response to my articulating that one of their fundamental beliefs contradicted with one of my fundamental beliefs. Fundamentally, that was foolish.
  2. I allowed the “family obligation” narrative to guilt me into participating in my family’s toxic shame culture while my dad was in the hospital. …


I how I evaluate the company I keep when I feel shitty more often than not.

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There’s that whole “high vibe tribe” women have been championing since about 2015 — have you heard of it? It very nicely bled into American culture’s obsession with perfection and then nicely seeped into the other part of American culture I happen to appreciate called Mental Health Awareness.

They walked around with rainbows, sunshine, and an everything is awesome message to send to the world. If it was raining, they had an umbrella with a rainbow and a sun painted inside it.

The high…


What you, me, and my dad think to prevent ourselves from writing and why I’m not doing it anymore.

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Like you, I have a world of reasons not to write:

  • Time
  • Perceived lack of skill
  • Netflix
  • Outside
  • I’m not “really” a writer
  • A new job
  • A new country
  • Covid blues
  • Squirrel
  • Family dysfunction
  • My dad died

About that last one — it actually matters to you. Not the way it matters to me, but my dad was a lot like us. Particularly when it came to finding excuses to not to do something.

On March 8th, I got a phone…


Why sales doesn’t understand partnerships.

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Everyone is in sales. Maybe that’s the challenging part about being in the field. If you’re not selling a car or a service you are selling yourself to your family (No, you’ll never be good enough) or, harder, your new partner (Good luck. He’s how old?). If every person is in a constant state of pitching, that also means that every person is also constantly being pitched to. What can we assess from this? There’s a lot of people doing the same thing taking up a lot of time. Not just taking up a lot…


How my efforts for an interview can teach you the true value of your professional ecosystem and how to utilize it.

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I recently found myself with an incredible opportunity. An interview with a startup in the city I wanted to live in. The interview included a case study that required my understanding of people holding positions I’ve never held, in a field I am far from familiar with. To gain insight, I turned to Linkedin. I sent invitations to 100 people who met the minimal criteria. Most of these invitations were accepted. To each person, I sent a message explaining…


I’ve decided to go in a different direction. I wish you well in your future endeavors and appreciate the time you’ve contributed

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Dear Imposter Syndrome,

I hear your message of impossibility, and ultimately I respect your perspective. How could I possibly have these opportunities and see them to their fruition? It is by no means a reflection of experience or capabilities that allowed this window to open for me. Or that’s what you would lead me to believe. Who am I, you scream so loudly, to become more? Who am I to even try? I should stay in my box…


How I found salvation after abusing substances, my partners, and myself.

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I am constantly trying to improve myself. Sometimes, it’s from a good place of trying to be a better, more compassionate, loving human being. Normally, it’s perfectionism. American culture embraces perfectionism and loops it into our relentless work ethic and hunt for the American dream. Only until recently, I learned that perfectionism is actually a symptom of trauma. It manifests in people who have experienced a variety of circumstances, including being a child of addicts, partners of abuse, and loved ones of bipolar & borderline personality disorder. I happen…


3 things I learned from our 10 life-altering months together.

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I decided to take a hiatus from alcohol on October 16th, 2019. I published my first article on Medium October 29th of the same year.

My dive into sobriety was intended to last a week. Feeling the ease with which I did it, I thought I’d see how long I could continue. A month into it, I realized that alcohol had been a part of every experience of my life. I recognized fear of being excluded and concern about not being able to be “myself” without it. Having committed earlier in the year to do the things I was afraid…


4 steps to correct what you did so that you can move on.

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Mistakes were made today. Several actually, and that happens. Immediately, my thoughts went to self-judgment. You’re such a fuck up. Why can’t you get it together, Taylor? But then I remembered, I’m human, and I make mistakes.

I make mistakes a lot when I think about it. I eat foods that I know hurt my stomach. I’ve dated the wrong people. Stayed in relationships longer than I should have. Tried to do the same thing the same way, expecting different results with different scenarios. Lots of mistakes…


I’ve got 99, but a bitch ain’t one.

Photo by Oleg Ivanov on Unsplash

I just finished reading an article by Austin Birch. He says for a business to be problem-driven. That it keeps the company on the offensive and allows the business to cater to a specific niche.

I’m having some issues with my niche.

I serve women who want to quit being drunken shit shows and start actually living a life they enjoy.

I’ve been raised around alcoholism my entire life, just generations of alcohol diluted blood flowing through my veins. Immediately in my bloodline, I have one parent in denial and the other in a cancer forced recovery. …

TaylorRuth

Contributing writer to Recovery International, The Ascend, and Innovation. As seen in Are We Europe, & Culture Trip. Sober Party Girl : livingwanderfull.com

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