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Don’t Be A Sheep
Why being committed to writing is so hard for me.
Why is it so hard to fulfill commitments to ourselves?
Let me rephrase that; I won’t speak for you. Why is it so hard for me to fulfill commitments to myself? Not all of them, just most of them. I know what commitments I’m capable of keeping. They’re the ones that I know uplift me. I am such an evangelist for how they benefit me that I can’t help but do them. One of these things is writing.
I love writing. I need to do it every day. It’s my therapy. It’s my prayer. When I don’t write, I feel disconnected from everything, mostly myself. The first thing I ever remember wanting to be is a writer. In my home growing up, there was a poster of William Faulkner smoking a cigarette hanging on a wall in our living room. My father idolized him, and at one point in his life, he too aspired to become a writer. I idolized my father, and so I assume that my dream was absorbed from him.
At a very early age, I became well acquainted with the fear of others’ opinions. That fear very quickly took away my first calling and replaced it with something more practical, like becoming a lawyer.