Everything can’t be my fault.
I lost my dad but gained perspective.
There are some people who experience common life events and take lessons from them. Example:
- Don’t date someone who makes fun of you.
- Don’t eat strawberries with white fuzz on it.
- Drink water or your urinary tract and your bowels will call for revenge.
I would do this, but then I also would take it one step farther. These lessons weren’t just a part of being a human. No, not for me.
For me experiencing anything emotionally or physically uncomfortable was a sign that I needed to radically improve myself. Had there not been something wrong with me, the situation would not have occurred.
I also take it further. When people in different states or countries are murdered — I feel guilty. When I see homeless people on the street or know that anyone on the planet is struggling in anyway — I am responsible.
It’s exhausting to be the fault of all things that cause discomfort, and I really never questioned it. It’s been my truth for the majority of my life, until my Daddy died last year.
They say I killed my Dad.
My father was the absolute best. Prior to 2013 he was just your run of the mill functioning alcoholic who…