Giving Me A Million Reasons
What you, me, and my dad think to prevent ourselves from writing and why I’m not doing it anymore.
Like you, I have a world of reasons not to write:
- Time
- Perceived lack of skill
- Netflix
- Outside
- I’m not “really” a writer
- A new job
- A new country
- Covid blues
- Squirrel
- Family dysfunction
- My dad died
About that last one — it actually matters to you. Not the way it matters to me, but my dad was a lot like us. Particularly when it came to finding excuses to not to do something.
On March 8th, I got a phone call that my daddy died. He’d had a year-long battle with cancer and, unbeknownst to the general population (me), he’d been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer quite recently.
The dynamics of my family, also like yours, are complicated. All families are complicated. My mother left when I was twelve. Before she left, my dad was my idol; after she left, he became my best friend. My dad’s sisters popped in and out for 20 years to make sure I was doing and living the way I “should” be. The three of them struggled with codependency, mental health, and…