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I Have Never Done This Sober.
The words that kept me sober in the face of cancer and family dysfunction.
Sobriety
I decided to quit drinking for one week to give my body a much-needed break. My rosacea was out of control. My gut was swollen. My anxiety was spinning. It was time.
Day one was October 15th, 2019. One week turned into one month, and by the end of the month, I found myself taking inventory of the things I’ve never done sober.
The list included everything. I’ve never done anything as an adult completely sober. And so, my commitment began — a minimum of one year.
Unintentionally tempting the Universe, I said, “How hard could it be to remain sober for one year.”
Then, 2020 happened.
Don’t be mad at me.
In early March, I called my dad for our weekly conversation. This call started similarly to most of the ones I had with him. His words were slurred. His stories were gossip. His responses to any word that came out of my mouth were accusatory.
“Don’t be mean to me.”
“Don’t be mad at me.”
Before we got off the phone, he mentioned that he had a large mass on his jaw.
“How long has it been…