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I’m Tired Of Self Improvement
But I’m not sure if there’s another option.
Once you realize that you have the power to choose to be a better person, it’s an uphill battle. Therapy, yoga, journaling, programs, books, seminars, traveling, talking to people, meditating. All of these things are a part of the “journey.” And when you start it, you start using that word too.
“I’m on a journey.”
“When did you start your journey?”
“What triggered your journey?”
I’ve been on a journey for some time. My self-help journey began in 2016. Over five years, I’ve invested a lot of time, money, and brainpower to make, what I believe, is a tremendous amount of progress. Only recently have I realized a feeling that is self-improvement imposed. It’s an exhaustion with the improvement process.
I sometimes reminisce about how easy it was for me to be an asshole. I was an asshole to everyone, myself included. I didn’t stop to think about what I was doing or why I was doing it. I just existed in the world, unknowing that my behavior was a reflection of something more profound. Life wasn’t easy, peasy lemon squeeze. It was more stressy stressy, lemon depressy. I was a mess. I hated my life and would pray nightly that something drastic would force me to make a change. But, it was less effort.