Improving is an addiction that we all have.

3 min readSep 21, 2022

Stop reading listicles. Stop searching pinterest. Find something new.

Photo by Sam Moghadam Khamseh on Unsplash

Let’s stop trying to find ways to improve. Let’s stop reading listicles to find a quick win on becoming a “better” version of ourselves. Let’s stop searching on Pinterest to identify that one tweak that will make us that much closer to perfect. It doesn’t work.

It’s not that wanting to grow or evolve as a person isn’t something we shouldn’t aspire for. It’s a natural result of experiencing life.

But improving isn’t found in a how-to guide. At least, not the type of that matters.

Becoming better comes from learning. Those really incredible “ah ha” moments that Opera talks about. Those moments are incremental pivots in thinking that contribute to the gradual evolution that is you. You find yourself changing habits, being inspired to actually act on an ambition, speaking out — doing. Those moments lead to pivots that lead to doing. And that doing is long term and sustainable.

What listicles and Pinterest and the guides allude to is the world rocking shift. The kind where we here people say, “I finally woke up.” Those alleged resources are not going to be what wakes us up. Trauma wakes us up. Fear. Loss. Pain. Circumstances that make us feel so terribly and unbearably uncomfortable are the ways we wake up and make radical immediate changes.

But if all we are searching for change, we miss the now. Without now we can’t have the pivots or the moments. We can’t have anything because we’re too busy searching for something other than what is right in front of us — choice. Choice to learn. Choice to experience. Choice for new.

So maybe instead of a mission for constant improvement, the energy could be shifted to exposing ourselves to that which is foreign to us. Places. Ideas. People. Activities. A regular introduction to that which is not our normal. I am of the opinion that is the real way to facilitate the type of change we desire to see not only in ourselves but in the world.

Through new we begin to consider alternative options. We become open to concepts that we once either shunned or were completely ignorant too. We develop a patience, then a tolerance, and then an acceptance of the diversity that exists not only between every individual on the planet — but within ourselves as well.

We know, within ourselves, that we are creative, multi-faceted, remarkably complex beings. We do not exist with one train of thought. We see options. We have conflicting desires. Internally we are as diverse as the world around us. That does not need to be improved. That needs to be embraced.

If we are able to embrace ourselves, that improvement that consumes our minds, that flows through our veins like an addiction, will subside. Instead of trying to rid ourselves of self, we will finally be able to evolve into what we truly desire and fulfill our highest and greatest potential.


Living between Seattle & Paris. Student of people, self, French, and yoga in between.