I have incredible test anxiety. When I take exams, all of the knowledge I once worked so hard to obtain (obtenir) leaves me & I’m left panic-stricken with damp armpits and an empty mind. Similar symptoms occur when I try (essayer) to speak the native tongue of my new French hometown. Same wet armpits. Same empty mind. Unlike my test-taking, I’m totally unable to mask my nerves due to an additional symptom: My face turns into an extraordinary shade of rouge. I can’t decide which is worse: the embarrassment felt from speaking, or the shame felt from not being able to do so. They come in tandem so I suppose they can be equals.

I’m sure there are ways to alleviate their weight. My first instinct is to begin drinking and heavily. Liquid courage is a quick fix for sure. The only downside will be the next morning’s crippling hangover-induced anxiety. I know of two ways to defeat that side effect. I can either A)Endure it until it dissipates a day (or two) later or B)I can begin drinking (boire) again. The problem with the former is that persevering through the anxiety takes so much energy that I would be totally unable to put any effort towards speaking much less my budding career as a writer. The problem with the latter is that I have never been the type of person that can be both intoxicated and productive. There is some optimism to this. If I can’t be intoxicated and productive and choose to be intoxicated, eventually this cycle of drinking will have to end because I’m a writer and I can’t afford this type of habit for very long. All of this work will, inevitably, force me to endure the former. Either way, neither lend themselves to be…